Parenthood is perceived to be all smelling of roses, Ha yeah right! If you are a parent you will know that is a complete lie. Being a parent is hard, children know how to push your buttons and will do it frequently. Sometimes their behaviour is completely disrespectful and Some times just being an adult, dealing with all the responsibilities, can make life stressful and children do not understand all of that yet.
I have three children and at least one of them will be pushing that button at a certain time. I will be the first person to admit I have next to no patience and when I’ve reached my limit I become loud and very shouty, I tend to let my mouth over rule my brain ( to a certain extent)
I am known to shout things like ” OMG! I can’t believe you have just done that!” and “Why don’t you ever fricken listen to me!” and “seriously” comes out of my mouth quite a lot. I know these sentences really are not helpful and I don’t know what response I’m expecting from them.
I feel guilty the moment I’ve shouted or said something horrible. I know I am the parent and I should be teaching my children the right way to handle anger and the right way to respond but for some reason I turn back into a child and handle it badly.
I have been trying to change the way I react to certain situations for a while now because what I say and how I respond affects my children in a very big way, It effects their self-esteem, it affects our relationship, it affect how they see me as a role model. I never want to hurt my children and I have work to do to make sure that doesn’t happen. I have been using a few tips and tricks to help me control my anger and get my brain to engage before I open my mouth. These are the tips I’ve been trying to use.
- Find out what triggers my anger, what behaviour starts to push my buttons and make a plan of how to handle that behaviour before I reach my limit and start shouting.
- Remind myself, they are only children and they are learning how to control their emotions just as much as I am.
- If my patience are starting to wear thin, I will take myself away from the children for 5 minutes, pull myself together and start again.
- If we are all having a bad day, I bundle all the children out of the house for a while, this always seems to brighten up the mood.
- If all of that has failed and I have shouted or overreacted to the childrens behaviour, I make a point of apologising to them and giving them big cuddle.
I try to remember these when I can feel myself getting annoyed but its doesn’t always work and I still get angry and shout, it just reminds me I need to work harder on my own behaviour.
I know I’m not the only parent that gets angry at their children and I am still on the learning curve of parenthood. If anyone else is brave enough to admit they are an angry parent I would love to hear from you.