How to surviving the terrible twos. Part 2

This is part 2 of my terrible two series. Today I want to talk to about the behaviours you may see if your child is going through the terrible twos.  First I want to say that not all children go through the terrible twos, I have three children and only my youngest has gone through it, well actually she is going through it right now.

If you haven’t read part 1 of this series, I will link it here.

Sometimes it can be hard to recognise the signs your child is going through terrible twos.  Most toddler have tantrum and play their parents up but the terrible twos are worse. The behaviour is constant and there is no compromising with a child going through the terrible twos. Keep an eye on their behaviour and if the bad behaviour continues over a period of time and doesn’t seem to get better when you are correcting it, I would say (just my opinion) there is a chance they could be going through the terrible twos.

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Terrible twos: Image source

The 5 behaviours I list below are behaviours that are very common when your child is going through the terrible twos.  There are more behaviours but these are the once that my daughter is showing the most at the moment.

1.SHOUTING & SCREAMING

As your toddler get older they realise the noises they can make have an effect on the people around them, toddlers learn pretty quick that shouting and screaming get a quick response from you and this is why they do it over and over again. They shout when they are angry, they shout when they want something, they scream when you say NO! They shout and scream over anything.

– What you can do about it –

In a calm voice ask your child to stop shouting/screaming at you, tell them you are not going to listen until they can talk to you nicely. This doesn’t always work for my daughter, (well actually it rarely works) when she carries on shouting I will turn my back to her and ignore her until she calms down.

2.PUSHING BOUNDARIES.

Toddler like to have rules and boundaries, they thrive on them but they also like to push them and see how far they can go. They know they aren’t allowed to throw toys but they will throw them and see what happen after, they want to know if they will get told off for throwing the toy.

– What you can do about it –

You have to set rules when you have children and I mean proper rules that are feasible. If you have these rules in place you really need to stick to them and your child needs to learn there are consequences to their actions. When they start pushing the boundaries, you need to sit them down and tell them the behaviour is not allowed and ask them or tell them what they should have done instead.  Find a discipline technique that suits you and your child and teach them they need to stick to the rules.

3.TEMPER TANTRUMS

Your child favourite  plate is in the dishwasher so you give them the next one to hand. I can’t believe you have done that!! Your toddler start to get angry and HELLO TANTRUM!! Normally you can calm down a child when they are having a tantrum but with the terrible twos the child can’t be calmed down, there is no way to stop their tantrums.

– What you can do about it –

A tantrum can be quite scary for a toddler and once it starts, the child has to ride it out and release all these unknown emotions. I’ve found that the way to help my daughter is to stay calm and stay with her, even though it may not seem like it, doing this will helps your child feel safer. There is no possible way of teaching a child while they are having a tantrum, it’s better to wait until they have calmed down and then you can talk to them and explain the right way to behave. I have been told that helping your child put a name to emotions can help them understand better, i.e “I know you are angry right now but you can’t have sweets until after dinner”

4.INDEPENDENCE & FRUSTRATION

Around the age of 2 years old, children start learning they can do more for themselves and they will want to try to do EVERYTHING! Getting dressed, brushing their teeth, putting on shoes but sometimes they just physically are not ready and can’t do them, this is where the frustration sets in and this leads us back to number 3.

– What you can do about it –

I used to want to do quite a lot for my daughter, like doing up buttons, brushing her teeth because it was easier and quicker for me to do them however since she is now going through the terrible twos, I’ve learned just by giving her the extra time to do them for herself saves a huge melt down and stops a tantrum from happening. If  she can’t do it then I will say, ” Let mummy help you then we can…… put your shoes on, get dressed ( the next job that needs to be done) Most of the time this works because she wants to have a go at the next job. It’s also a good idea to let them have their independence and try showing them how to do certain thing and teaching them how to do the things they want to do.

5.AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR.

Children tend to show aggressive behaviour when they overwhelmed with the emotions they are feeling, This is when they start hitting, kicking, biting. They don’t really understand that their actions are hurting other people.  The aggressive behaviour will be their instant reaction to something that has happened, i.e Another child has taken their toy, they get angry and go to punch the other child and take back the toy. They think the only way to deal with the problem is to physically show the other child how they feel, they don’t have the vocabulary to be able to tell the other child, ” That’s not very nice, I want my toy back”

– What you can do about it –

Teaching your child that their actions hurt other people is the first thing to do, By telling them “No hitting, it hurts mummy” “Bitting hurts, Teeth are for eating food”  As hard as it may be you really need to stay calm while dealing with aggressive behaviour or you will just be fuelling the fire. Watch your child a bit closer and try to pin-point the triggers that make your child become aggressive, maybe it is a certain child they play with or a certain toy they get protective over, once you have noticed their trigger you can direct the child towards something else and distract them if its needed.

 

Most toddlers will show some of these signs but when your child is going through the terrible twos, these behaviours become magnified by 10.  Your child will repeat these behaviours over and over again. If your child is currently going through the terrible twos I really feel for you, I know how you are feeling.

Please leave me a comment below if you have any other behaviours you think I should be looking out for and any tips I can use.

xx

 

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